Big assignment due tomorrow for one of my courses. By the way, loving going back to school — the work 40 hours a week and go back to school part, not so much.

Anyways… Big assignment. I logged into my campus email this evening to check a few things and saw a letter from an attorney. Yes, an attorney. The University of North Carolina at Charlotte attorney, to be exact. 

Dear Colleagues: 

Every year about this time, we try to remind folks on campus that no smoking is permitted in campus facilities or anywhere on campus except for designated smoking areas.   We ask smokers to adhere to use of the designated areas and to use the butt disposal facilities provided.  Strolling across campus with cigarette in hand is not permissible nor is it acceptable to litter the campus. 

In the hope that we can rely upon voluntary cooperation with our policy, Chancellor Dubois has thus far resisted the adoption of a formal process to issue citations to offenders.  We hope we can all work together to ensure that our campus environment remains as enjoyable and beautiful as possible.

Dave Broome

General Counsel

Notice that little signature at the end? That little “General Counsel” there under Mr. Broome’s name?

Look here, folks. I’m a smoker (no speeches, please; I’m aware), and I’m fully cognizant of the reasons why our campus adopted indoor and outdoor smoking policies. And, unless something radical has changed and admittance is an open-door free-for-all, I’m rather confident that all of the academically-gifted students granted the privilege of attending this fine institution of higher education are also fully cognizant of the reasons for such policies.

Is an attorney’s letter all that necessary, here?

Two words come to mind: Veiled. Threat.

(The Fine Print: To all attorneys associated with The University of North Carolina at Charlotte and The University of North Carolina System, please be made fully aware that this blog post is intended solely for its entertainment value. No serious claims or accusations here, especially in that “Veiled. Threat.” line. It’s all in good fun, yo.)

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